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"Choices and Compromises"
The birth of this article came about several weeks ago. I was talking to a member about the woman in his life. He was honest enough to admit that he didn't think it would last very long. He did volunteer a few reasons why this might be the case. What it basically boiled down to was the fact that he had settled for less than what he wanted.
After that conversation, I started to think about how many other people may be feeling as he does. How many of us are settling and staying in a relationship which is not fulfilling and rewarding to us in our daily lives? Are many of us taking what we can get instead of getting what we want?
There are choices and decisions that are required of us daily, several of those can have a temporary affect on our lives, most on the other hand have long term and usually bring lasting results. When it comes to our personal and emotional lives, a number of us appear to not put as much thought into it as we do in buying our next pair of socks or shoes. Of course we all have some unrealistic qualifications and expectations for a mate or partner. Plus let's remember as we grow and change so do our needs, desires, wants as well as taste and attractions in people.
I am a firm believer in only spending my time with people I want to share myself with. I use this principle in all areas of my life, be it business or personal. When it comes to business sometimes we may not be able to afford being so selective, however when it comes to friends, lovers, mates and partners I believe we have every right to be picky and demanding. It is a matter of what each of us considers important and places value on. If one decides to spend time and-or date a person who we know is not the sort of person we truly want in our lives, what sort of message are you sending to your own "self"? What does that say about you to any and all who may be observing, most importantly what are you
saying about yourself to the person you are seeing?
Are you one of those that may have compromised so much that you are not enjoying the things in your life with the other person? If you are an avid sports person and enjoy participating, do you wish your partner would join you? Are you not doing the outside activities you want to do since your mate is not interested? Have you given up on following a dream because your partner is not supportive of it? Have you let your own interests go to the way side since the other person has no desire to join you?
Has the disappointment reached its limits? Do you even know what your limits are? Are you staying in the relationship because you don't want to be alone? Yet deep down you know you are not truly happy? I am sure you see what I am getting at; the questions one could ask are endless.
Answering yes to more than one of the above would indicate you are not in the correct relationship for yourself and have compromised above and beyond what would be considered normal in a healthy, mature, working, growing and satisfying relationship.
There are times when we may decide to just settle because we are either lonely, feel neglected due to the fact we have no significant other in our lives, or even just plain bored. I must admit, I myself have been guilty of that. However, in these sorts of situations one must sooner or later face the facts of "it just isn't enough". When we catch this going on, we should be adult enough to know it is time to move on. We know within a short time whether someone will fit us or not. Let the other person go when you know it is the time to do so. Making choices such as this is not easy at times, it is however the mature adult thing to do.
Compromising is a much-needed tool in any and all dealings with other people. However it is a matter of making the choice to want do so first, then picking a subject that you are comfortable compromising on. When we make decisions and compromise just as way to appease the other person, you are short changing yourself as well as the other person. Never under value anyone, including yourself.
Don't settle it never pays off. Everyone involved gets hurt in the end.
Treat each other kindly and enjoy life!
Till the next time, my message to one and all. "Dance like no one is watching" and "love your life as you want to be
loved.
Our calendar is full of events designed for the purpose of meeting and having fun with other singles. Get out there & enjoy what we have scheduled for YOUR enjoyment. SOCIALIZE…..SOCIALIZE…..SOCIALIZE!!!
REMINDER…. email me with any tidbits……just remember, my only requirements are: any and all feedback, information, tidbits, gossip, etc., be accurate, honest, clean and on the positive side. Continue with your emails. I love them!
Send them to me at emily@SinglesOdyssey.org.
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